Throughout our lives we experience change ranging from the gentler, subtler kind to the more ‘rattling of your bones’, transformational kind. It’s the transformational change I am deeply curious about because it can be so raw, yet extremely liberating.

I recently dove into a fresh wave of transformational change in the company of seventy-five other women in the Joshua Tree desert; all of us with a deep desire to throw into the fire that which no longer served, a death and rebirth, a stepping into our full power and truth of what we are here to do in this lifetime. The journey afterward has been profound and I found myself drawn to the crab to see what insights from nature it had to offer about this transformational “shedding of skin”.

Crabs go through multiple molting stages in their lifespan. They must shed their exoskeleton (“shell”) to grow. After crabs molt they are highly vulnerable with their new soft exoskeleton. As a result, crabs will often hide until their new “shell” has hardened. In addition, they must grow into their new larger “shell”.

All of this resonates deeply with my own experience of transformational change. In order to grow, there must be the letting go of the layers – thoughts, patterns, behaviours – that no longer serve; it’s the “shedding of one’s skin”.

It often is a vulnerable time afterward as everything feels raw, new, soft, and unfamiliar. Honoring and nurturing one’s vulnerable state is key to embodying this ‘new skin’.

There is this sense of our ‘new skin’ being larger than what we are accustomed to. To me that’s the liberation. There’s room to move in and around it as we familiarize ourselves with our new re-combobulated, re-vitalized self. With time and patience we grow into and embody it.

If we want to grow, change is unavoidable. If we offer ourselves patience and tenderness during the process it can be quite remarkable and liberating, often setting us in a new healthy and meaningful direction in our lives.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature,
to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly”
~ Henri Bergson

Greetings! It has been some time since my last Messages from the Tide Pool and I hope this finds you all well. Big change was afoot for me leading into the summer that called for a pause, but beautifully provided the inspiration for this Message from the Tide Pool.

The fog blankets the shoreline on an early September morning, common this time of year along the coast. Do we venture out on our paddleboards as planned, or abandon the idea? Of course there are increased risks or hazards to be aware of. With safety and navigation tools in hand, we set out into an area we are very familiar with.

But the fog has obscured this familiarity; the landmarks have all but disappeared and have morphed into unrecognizable forms as though magically created by Khaos, the ancient Goddess of mist and fog. We paddle on, our eyes constantly adjusting to the appearance and disappearance of shapes before us as the fog thickens and dissipates, thickens and dissipates. There is a shift from our practical navigation skills, to calling upon our other senses.

Hearing is elevated, listening for foghorns, grunts of harbour seals, and shrill calls of oyster catchers, to name a few of the sounds that help us grasp our bearings relative to lighthouses, boats and small islets. Then there is the sense of trust; trusting one’s inner knowing of where they are in this world, in the ‘right’ place.

Then it happens. Like passing through to the other side of a veil, we find ourselves in a magnificent opening, clear of all fog and the morning sun ablaze. It is stunning. Looking back toward the shore, completely enveloped in fog, the contrast is stark. The journey offered us amazing marine wildlife encounters including a small pod of harbour porpoises otherwise never to be experienced had we stayed tethered to the shore.

The metaphor of this experience is profound for me. Staying tethered to the familiar on one side of the veil, while the unfamiliar and unknown wait on the other side. Recently in my own life I finally took the courageous step to untether myself from the side of the veil that was keeping me from living a better life I knew was possible, and walked to the other side taking with me tools already acquired from life experiences, but most importantly trust that when I emerged on the other side I would know what next step to take. From there another step to take would be realized, then another, and another, until I could see that a beautiful new life path was forming, created by my courage to step into the unknown.

Can we change our perspective from fear of and resistance to the unknown to curiosity of life’s mysterious veil offering us something beautiful in exchange for trusting and moving into the unfamiliar?

What mysterious veil is beckoning you to walk through for a brighter, better quality life?

(A side note… I am currently conducting a survey related to the big change I mentioned that concerns women leaving their conventional job in order to create a better quality life. If this speaks to you, please take a look and consider forwarding to anyone you know who might be suited to complete the survey. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LZC8BF2)

Spring is here again, bringing thousands upon thousands of jellyfish-like creatures to the west coast shoreline. Known commonly as the by-the-wind sailor (or Velella velella for the biologists), this translucent and purplish-blue animal spends most of its life afloat on the surface of the ‘high seas’ such as the Pacific Ocean.

What is amazing is that instead of being completely at the mercy of the ocean currents and winds, the by-the-wind sailor actually has a sail set diagonally along its surface that essentially dictates the direction it is going and ultimately the shore it may end up on (those that wash up on the Pacific west coast shores have their sails directed in a northwest to southeast direction).

What ‘ocean of life’ are you traveling through right now? What ‘sail’ can you set that will take advantage of life’s winds and take you where you need to go? Is it taking a specific action? Making a long overdue connection?

Unlike the by-the-wind sailor, we have the ability, if we are willing, to reposition our ‘sail’ if the water or shore is not right for us. What adjustments can you make to your ‘sail’? Is it a thought? A belief? A pattern? A story you are telling yourself? It does not need to be big, just a one-degree shift can set you towards an entirely new destination.

Happy New Year! Yes, a new year has begun with the excitement and hope of fresh possibilities and opportunities.

The winter brought many wild, windstorms to our coast, tossing a tangle of seaweed onto the beaches, an offering of food and shelter for the shoreline creatures and nutrients for the creation of new life. Where the seaweed once took hold, is now clear space; ready for new life and new growth reaching toward the sunlight.

What space can we clear as we embark on a new year? What can we let go of? What can we welcome in? What can we do less of? More of? What changes and shifts can we make that supports us in being the best expressions of who we are meant to be; authentic, loving, compassionate and joyful beings? I’m letting go of perfection and welcoming in more adventure and time in nature, giving back to the environment and community in my own unique way. I would love to hear what changes are inspiring you for the New Year. May the New Year bring you all that you wish for.

On a recent trip to Tofino on the west coast of Vancouver Island, I found myself overcome by a large set of breaking waves in the surf zone. One wave after another pummeling me, pushing me underwater and towards fear as fatigue began to set in and I began to think that I could not survive one more wave. When will it stop? How can I get out of this?

‘Ironically’, I was asking the same questions in my life. Feeling trapped in an all too familiar situation I thought I had already moved beyond. But here it was again dominating my life, and here I was again trying to stop it, trying to escape it. The more I focused on that, the more the situation built in intensity, along with a torrent of feelings and emotions I was also trying to push aside. How did this old way of reacting again ensnare me?

The trip to Tofino was an important shift in being. In honoring my need to step away from the situation long enough, I was able to express and honor my feelings and emotions, acquire a new perspective, and receive the messages that are always waiting to be heard when one is open. I received:

• “Focus on what you want, not on what you do not want”;

• “Always feel the feelings, and sit in gratitude until it surpasses the reactivity” (thank you Bev); and

• Pema Chodron’s relaying of her spiritual mentor’s advice “So the waves keep coming, and you keep cultivating your courage and bravery and sense of humour to relate to this situation of the waves, and you keep getting up and going forward. After awhile, it will begin to seem to you that the waves are getting smaller and smaller.” “It isn’t that the waves stop coming, it’s that because you train in holding the rawness of vulnerability in your heart, the waves just appear to be getting smaller and smaller, and they don’t knock you over anymore.”1

The morning before leaving Tofino I smiled at the sight on the beach. Algae scattered all about in the swash zone as you see in the photo below. Somehow it was symbolic of all my previous disorganized, highly charged thoughts, feelings, and emotions that would have been strewn about like a yard sale much like the algae had I let it build to the breaking point.

Sometimes there is a deeper level of awareness and learning we must journey through. I left Tofino with a deeper gratitude for my life, for my life experiences, and felt stronger, more empowered and ready to experience what I want. It has begun and I am gratefully in this.

1Chodron, Pema. 2015. Fail Fail Again Fail Better. Sounds True, USA.

I’ve come across many views and philosophies on ‘perfect‘ and ‘perfection‘: from “strive for perfection” to “you are perfectly imperfect” to “there is no such thing as perfect or perfection” and everything in between and more.

During many walks along the shoreline or while paddling I’ve observed Great blue herons standing so still and quiet in the water or on a raft of kelp in their stealth hunting mode, seemingly waiting for that ‘perfect’ moment to launch its attack. A year ago I thought that would be a good message for Messages from the Tide Pool, titled something like, well, “Waiting for the Perfect Moment”. But I was not moved to write about it until now. Hmmm.

On Sunday I enjoyed walking with my dear friend who I had not seen for way too long. We spoke about choices, choosing to go for a walk in the sunshine with each other instead of staying home to work on our businesses, and which choice would impart a beautiful long term memory; I spoke of feeling ‘behind‘ in all the e-mails and my coaching and leadership audios, and feeling stalled in my business because it was still small and had not progressed since I launched my business.

Twenty-four hours later, I found myself finally writing on this topic of ‘the perfect moment‘. Why? Because of my time with my friend and what we talked about, and I had just listened to the leadership audio I was ‘behind in’, and heard the message I needed to hear and to share with my friend, and perhaps you. “Make friends with playing a small game first. Love where you are at today. Find five reasons why where you are at right now is ‘perfect’ for your life and find five reasons why where you want to be will be ‘perfect’ when you get there”.

Had I written this a year ago, it would have been different. Had I listened to the audio a month ago, it would have landed differently. All the beautiful and essential ingredients seemed to line up for me over those two days, exactly when I needed them to write this piece. Let go of the labels ‘perfect’ and ‘perfection’; don’t let them overshadow the inner whisper that lets us know “now” is the time, “this” is the choice.

If we are still and quiet like the Great blue heron, we will hear that inner whisper, and there will be no question if we are acting too soon or delaying for too long, if we are making the ‘right’ or ‘perfect’ choice. Connect with that inner whisper, trust the timing of things, and welcome things to happen when they are truly meant to happen for us.

The ocean is simply magical. It also commands great respect. I have been on calm seas that have turned quickly into turbulent chaos, with waves crashing onto shore with such powerful force, and then only hours later it has returned to a gentler sea.

It is a perfect analogy for the storm of chaos that can pass through our lives, internally and externally. We can become so fixated and seized by the energy of it, believing this is the new state and something we need to escape. But what if instead we welcomed in the turbulence and moved toward the eye of chaos, viewing it as necessary energy to stir things up, bring us new lessons for learning and growth, to set us on a new path, knowing it is just passing through, and that the calm seas of our lives will return. As in nature, so it is with us, continuously cycling through the calm and chaos.

Diving in the kelp forest is a magical experience. With sunlight beaming from above, this underwater forest, home to a diversity of fish swimming in and around is stunning. At times though it can present challenges to the diver. The long stems (stipes) reaching to the surface can be like rubber bands catching and entrapping you and your diving gear. If you panic or get frustrated by this and try to fight your way out, it just gets worse.

A cardinal rule in diving is to stop, breathe, think, and then act to break the instinctive fight or flight response and thus be able to put into action a solution that ends in a positive outcome to a challenging situation. That has always stuck with me as a diver. I always found that if I stopped and connected with a center of calmness then I could free myself from the situation I faced, such as the kelp entanglement or low visibility.

It made me think how this was no different from other challenges in my life. So often I would go directly into panic and fear. But if I apply the same “stop, breathe, think and then act” logic, and connect with an inner stillness, then the challenge won’t be as insurmountable as it first seems and I can identify a solution much quicker in this state of calmness. So I ask myself, and you, where in life do we still struggle when challenges appear and invoke feelings of being trapped or entangled, panic and fear? Where can we stop and breathe into the moment, find and connect with that center of stillness and calmness, obtain more visibility into the situation, and then move forward with grace and confidence?

When the tide is out and the myriad of sea life is exposed in the intertidal zone, it is quite remarkable to see how all this intertidal life has adapted to the variable and sometimes very harsh conditions that occur during this low tide period: from increased vulnerability to predators, to the drying, scorching heat of the sun or cold, biting wind, rain or snow. Only those species with a specific degree of tolerance, or ability to cope with the changing conditions, will be found here in the intertidal zone.

It led me to question my own adaptability, ability to cope, tolerance levels, and vulnerabilities. I could see that my past experiences paired with my current thoughts, feelings and emotions all were factors in defining my range of adaptability and tolerance, which expands and contracts like the seasons; there is an ebb and flow to it like the tide. There is a healthy aspect of this, but sometimes there is the aspect of just plain slipping into default mode. Where am I contracting unconsciously? Getting irritated by trivial inconveniences? Becoming small because I don’t feel strong, powerful or courageous enough to take on a new challenge. Where am I expanding beyond healthy boundaries? Am I unconsciously saying “yes” to everything before checking in with myself to really know if it is something I want or need to do? Where am I willing to be vulnerable and push my edge or limits for beneficial growth?

I move into this day with an awakened awareness of my range of adaptability and tolerance, seeing how I can breathe new life into it, dancing at my edges for healthy, beneficial growth and expansion. Will you join me in this curious exploration? I’d love to hear what you discover.